Hello you two!
This used to be written for me, but nearly two years into this blogging malarkey I have a confirmed* readership of two! And when better to write my latest post than the night I have 94 reports due!
Corona is a challenge I neither asked for, nor hate. I start with utter gratitude for where I live; access to greenery both to visit and to eat, my au pair, my health and a sense of humour (there are many other facets too numerous to mention).
So my wonderful Au Pair, it means I have had additional help with childcare, this makes a HUGE difference. Especially when t'husband was away for over 3 1/2 weeks on an NHS task. My job is able to still pay me so financials are not a concern. I have the hardware, space and bandwidth (of both brain and wifi) to be able to teach from home.
I ensure that I exercise everyday as is/was my 'Boris-given' right.
I spend huge amounts of time with two of the funniest little humans to grace this Earth.
I have foraged wild garlic, fennel, elderflower and nettles.
I beast myself on the bike up super steep Downs, with massive adrenaline kicks descending the other way, and I am gaining lots of bike handling skills.
My confidence in cooking has risen exponentially.
I am learning to operate with 'panache' in virtual worlds, video streaming to over 50 children, up-skilling rapidly in online delivery of education!
I have made instructional videos for my fermenting/concoctions.
I am reading voraciously and have at least 12 books on the go.
I have done at least one handstand or hand balance every day since 29th February!
I am exploring every road, path and track in a 3 mile radius of my home.
I have completed over 100 concurrent days of exercise
I am pondering a future possibly improved by this pause.
I have swam 6km in a river
I have MTBd the SDW (100 miles off road) in 2 days!
IT IS NOT ALL JOLLY
I am trying to unlearn and relearn about racism. I have been aware of my extraordinary privilege for a very long time, but every year my awareness grows and I try and lean into the next uncomfortable feeling. I am increasing my exposure to melanated voices, have attended a BLM silent socially distanced protest and am doing a course called #DoTheWork.
I have taken extra steps towards improving my mental health exploring emotional integrity.
I have wondered whether mine is a voice that needs to speak up, or be silent to allow others the space, so this post has remained in my head until now. But my voice can reach those near to me and if that space is silent then we are complicit in the status quo.
I have had deep moments of sadness, mainly for others, but sometimes for me too.
I have grieved the lack of many of my normal activities, but have learnt to love looking for the silver linings. I have not missed FOMO, I have embraced feeling at home in my space.
I feel deeply concerned because there is a massive disparity in how we have been able to respond to this situation, by circumstance or mindset; another example of the amplification of advantages.
I have wondered about how the many dilemmas placed upon us have interfered with our personal codes for conduct.
I have felt deep distress about how my mother has been impacted by how our society has responded to these events, but grateful too for so many little acts of community that have held her safe.
SO:
I must #dothework because I benefit from my privilege every second I breathe, I take up this challenge and I will not perpetuate any action I discover to be wrong.
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*They talk to me about my posts!
**I just discovered when I was mopping up the water I poured on my laptop that I can spin rotate my screen because I had to google learn how to reverse it. That would have been incredibly useful to know about 3 months ago. I have marked more work by turning my head upside down than I care to contemplate!