To love (not have) it all

I pretty much love it all. I love all the seasons, I love all the times of day (bar unwanted sleeplessness). I love being 40, I'm sure I'll love being 50. I am learning to love who I was when I was younger, despite the pressure to cringe at our previous selves, even though I was bullied and seemingly undesirable. I love my body because what it can do and for what it has overcome. I love where I live despite wanting to live somewhere else. I love term time and being at work, despite preferring the holidays and adventuring with my boys.

I am passionate about making this world a better place, but also intent on thoroughly loving and enjoying it.

They say capitalist societies don't like people like me. My happiness is not dependant on the newest thing, or replacing/upgrading/shinifying. In fact I strive to have less!

My critics... (we all have them whether we are unknowns or Greta Thunbergs), would say it's easy for me to be happy, because I've got those things that people need to be happy. But when I look left and right I see people with more that are less happy, and people with less that seem happier, although this is perception and there are always errors in how one appears.

I did a challenge in January which was to not complain for a month, the startling take away from that was that in general people seem to prefer it when you are discontent. To be happy seems smug and is difficult for other people to process, we have been so conditioned to believe that it is just one more buy away, or a different dress size.

I'm currently not buying anything new for 6 months, it is a revelation. I am exempt from the global powers of persuasion and I am loving it.

Obviously it is impossible to be constantly happy, I can be frustrated, over-tired, angry, sad etc but it is my go to emotion.

Sept 2019